Sometimes, there are shortcuts in life that can really help you out. A couple that come to mind are buying pre-made pesto, or finding the secret tunnel through the mountain in Koopa Troopa Beach for MarioKart 64.
Other times, however, shortcuts are just not the answer.
My sorority friend Betsy (the one with whom I made Herb Roasted Cornish Game Hens) and I attempted to bake a chocolate cake for dessert. Despite following a recipe exactly from a Better Homes and Gardens cookbook, the cake ended up more of a dried out chocolate graham cracker than a cake.
Needless to say, we slathered it with frosting and ate it anyways.
The next time she came over, Betsy had a delightful shortcut idea she had heard for making an easy chocolate cake: simply combining a box of cake mix with a can of Diet Coke.
What we envisioned would happen:
The cake wasn't HORRIBLE. It was just way too rich and the texture was sorta weird and crumbly, but also mysteriously gummy. It was like a first grader had dropped Mommy's cake and then attempted to put the pieces back together with some glue stick.
Plus we only had a third of a container of frosting left in the fridge, so we couldn't even cover up our mess.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Failcake.
- 1 box cake mix. Ours was Devil's food, which led to an even weirder tasting cake.
- 1 can Diet Coke. I am sure regular Coke would "work" as well, but we are watching our figures, after all.
- 1/3 container frosting. Just enough to spread over your crumbly mess of a cake to cover with the word "FAIL" in M&Ms.
- Enough M&Ms to spell out the word "FAIL"
1) Combine cake mix with a can of Diet Coke. Bake according to directions on the box.
2) Flip the cake onto a serving plate, spraying chocolate crumbs all over your counter as you do so, and pray the entire cake doesn't fall apart in transit.
3) Use your week-old leftover frosting to attempt to cover up your Failcake. Fail to do so. Cover with M&Ms so it says FAIL, as if you had any doubt as to the status of failure or success of your cake.
4) Resign yourself to said failure, drink some wine, watch some bad TV, and eat Failcake anyways.