Friday, June 18, 2010

Food Network Fridays: Bobby Flay!

I figured in keeping with the grilling theme of this week, I would go ahead and grill Bobby Flay for this edition of Food Network Fridays.

For those of you who don't know him, Bobby Flay is a Northeast-accent-talking, pepper-loving, Throwdown-losing, arrogant mother%$#&@* of a grilling fiend. He also earns the title of MY LEAST FAVORITE FOOD NETWORK CHEF. Congrats, Bobby!

Bobby makes spicy, grilled foods with a Southwest flavor profile and also travels around the country challenging various chefs to throwdowns. I have never understood why he has the audacity to think he can actually out-cook chefs who have been making sushi or other highly specialized foods their entire lives. Needless to say, he usually loses.

Go ahead, open up a bottle of whiskey, and get to know Bobby Flay!

Grill It! With Bobby Flay, Boy Meets Grill With Bobby Flay, and Throwdown With Bobby Flay. He also commonly appears to douche it up on Iron Chef and The Next Food Network Star.

  • Bobby does manage to prove that you can grill just about anything you put your mind to. Lettuce? Sure, why not!
  • Despite the fact that Bobby is an arrogant douche who makes the same exact type of cuisine every single time, he has somehow managed to build an empire of restaurants and products. You gotta give the guy credit for pulling that off.
  • (Chirp, chirp). <--- The sound of crickets as I attempt to think of a third pro for Bobby Flay.

  • PEPPERS!! Aaaah!!!! In case I have not expressed it enough on this blog, I loathe peppers in every form. I can sniff them out a mile away and even the smell makes me nauseous. I got sick from them one time when I was little, and since then I can't stand them. Bobby Flay is the KING of peppers. I challenge any one of my readers to find a single recipe in which there is no use of peppers. Aside from my personal hatred of them, this is also a major con cause it shows a serious lack of creativity.
  • I can't stand Bobby's accent. He sounds like a dockworker from NYC. Normally I wouldn't care, but he positions himself as a sophisticated, highly trained chef, and the accent just plain annoys the crap out of me.
  • Aside from the stench of peppers, Bobby Flay also reeks of arrogance. The very premise of Throwdown is laughable. He insults cooks all across America by thinking he can move in and outdo recipes that have been in their families and restaurants for generations. Douche!

Bobby Flay Drinking Game:
  • Take a drink every time Bobby uses a pepper in his recipe. That's right, every time.
  • Take a drink anytime, anywhere you see Bobby Flay shamelessly promoting himself (especially with those awful mayonnaise commercials).

  • Take a drink every time Bobby's wife appears on the show to cook with him and try to make him seem more likeable than he actually is.
  • Take a drink every time Bobby's man-boobs happen to be particularly noticeable.

  • Take a drink every time Bobby says "so flavorful."
  • And finally, take a drink every time Bobby loses a Throwdown.

Cheers, and have a great weekend!


  1. hahahaha.

    Next week, you should do World Cup Drinking Game. Every time, the players don't score, drink.

  2. Did you see the Throwdown at Lou's in Buffalo Grove? They made it seem like he had never even heard of deep dish before. It was ridiculous.