Thursday, April 29, 2010

Food Network Fridays: Ina Garten!

As I mentioned a couple weeks ago, I am going to do a series every other Friday called "Food Network Fridays!" Watching the Food Network is a great way to learn how to cook, and it's just darn entertaining.

Every other Friday I will showcase a Food Network host, as well as provide a fun drinking game to help you get to know the show!

This week, it's time to get "back to basics" with Ina Garten.

Ina Garten, more commonly known as "Barefoot Contessa," is neither barefoot nor a contessa. Rather, she is a middle aged, overweight woman who lives in the Hamptons with her beloved husband Jeffrey and a closet full of oversized denim shirts. She also happens to bear a striking resemblance to Nathan Lane.

Watch as Ina cooks up delicious food for Jeffrey and her myriad homosexual friends with an assortment of fascinating careers in the Hamptons (windmill repairer, florist, and more!)

So go ahead, grab some "good rum," and spend your weekend getting to know the Barefoot Contessa.

Barefoot Contessa

  • There is something very appealing about Ina's lifestyle. Don't we all want to have a lovely house in the Hamptons with a garden so nice that people tour it? And a plethora of homosexual friends with whom to enjoy beach parties?
  • Ina's relationship with her husband Jeffrey is quite sweet. He makes her laugh, and she makes him roast chicken every Friday night. They appear to have a dream marriage at their age.
However, I did record a hilariously awkward clip from an episode where Ina shares a sexually charged moment with one of her undoubtedly gay friends. You could cut the tension with one of Ina's $100 knives! My favorite part is at the end when T.R. appears to sneak a peek at Ina's considerable rear end when she turns to leave.

Sorry for the poor recording Ina would say, make sure "the volume is turned up!"

  • Watching Ina is like watching your favorite aunt cook her special recipes. Her voice is always calm and soothing, and her show is like a delicious dose of gourmet Valium.

  • Ina has too much damn equipment that it intimidates me from even attempting half her recipes. Who else but Ina can afford a food mill, both automatic and manual citrus juicers, a giant standing mixer, and a pantry full of gourmet ingredients?
  • The awkward and unnecessary scenes in which we have to watch Ina drive her BMW into town to converse and nervously giggle with the local butcher and/or florist and/or wineseller. We know how to grocery shop, biyatch!
  • Ina's complete and utter lack of a wardrobe. For all her Hamptons riches, the woman seems to only own three shirts: her giant blue button-up, her giant black button-up, and her giant denim button-up, with the only variation being whether or not she chooses to pop her collar.

Ina Garten Drinking Game:
  • Take a drink every time Ina asks a rhetorical question, including but not limited to: "How bad can that be?", "How good does that look?", or "How easy is that?"
  • Take a drink every time Ina says "fabulous" or "perfect."
  • Take a drink every time Ina engages in white, wealthy, East Coast snobbery, including but not limited to: over-pronouncing French ingredients, referring to vacationing abroad, spending obscene amounts of money on hydrangea arrangements, and more!

  • Take a drink for each stick of butter Ina uses in her recipes.
  • Take a drink every time Ina has a bizarre reason for hosting a party, such as her friend finishing restoring a historic windmill.
  • Take a drink every time Ina refers to an ingredient as "good" (i.e. "Add two tablespoons of good vanilla" or "half a cup of good mayonnaise"). What the hell constitutes good mayonnaise anyways?
  • Take a drink for every awkward super close camera shot of some random mundane task, such as Ina turning on the stove burner or cutting a piece of butter.
  • And finally, take a drink every time Ina and Jeffrey share a tender moment:

By the way, mad props to for some of these pictures and the video above...great website!

Give Barefoot Contessa a try and let me know what you think. Cheers!


  1. I enjoyed reading this article, how funny. With regards to Ina's wardrobe, I was wondering, have you ever noticed all of her pants are way too short? We've laughed at that for years.

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